If Andrew Keen is a "troll", wouldn't repeatedly personally insulting the dude as if he had peed on your rug indicate that you're a serial biter?

Tangentially, Cory Doctorow is so l337, he hires other dudes to admin his personal computer. For all those times he "needs something fixed in his kernal". You can hardly tell he never finished college, and just barely got his Good Enough Degree. Just barely.

The rest is all the usual "ads for companies we have known business relationships with, masquerading as content", Mark posting ads for his book followed by subsequently, and separately, pimping each and every bookstore he's going to visit in malls all over the San Fernando valley. Or wherever. I don't generally go to book stores, so I assume the threat level for me is low of catching doucheitis.

Hey, it's as much of a word as "spokesdouche", and I don't even pretend to be a journalist.

"I decided to try out veganism a little over a week ago -- so far I feel great, and it's a lot easier than I thought." I'd add a snarky line about this, but it doesn't need one. Xeni did the heavy lifting by establishing her week-long expertise on the subject in the first line.

In case y'all forgot, Cory has a new book, and he also has a new book. Oh wait, that's the same book? You mean the same one that dude has posted at least an ad a day for for the last few weeks? Oh. Oh boy. Let's all go down to Barnes y Noble and stand in line for Cory's new book. Oh me? Well, I'll meet you there. I have some other stuff to do.

Can we stop automatically stating Bruce Schneier's speculation as fact?

Then, of course, there's the classic Frauenfelderian backtracking moment, which you all were kind enough to draw attention to already.

HEY U GUYZ, PHOTOSHOP CONTEST AT WORTH 1000!11111

Also, why does it not surprise me that this is the side Cory would be on, if he lived in the Star Wars universe? When I was in second grade, I rooted for the Rebel Alliance. Eventually, I grew up, and found myself in support of the Empire.

And now, the crowning awkward boingboing moment of the weekend:

"no sneaky running out into the Magic Kingdom and riding the Haunted Mansion in the nude!"

I don't know about all of you, but I'm creeped out now by the visual of that college dropout touching his own junk late at night, running around Disneyland in his Canuckistanian Birfday Suit.

And on that note, work awaits.

A: Not having a livejournal in the first place, thus being disqualified from Special Olympic participation.

Now, let's get down to business, shall we?

Somebody call CNN, an old tv show filmed in the 60s has cultural debris in the background that's also from the 60s! Can you believe it? Mark can't.

Meanwhile, Cory Doctorow fills in for Xenifer, recycling Ye Olde Ancient Goatse Meme. Always fascinating and in vogue, just like the word "blogosphere". Oh wait...

Still, he finds the time to post another ad disguised as a blog post for his "new" book, just in case you missed the three other times El Mierdaperro shilled himself in the past 7 days. Four times, seven days. I guess maybe he took the weekend off...

OK, people, chat amongst yourselves. And WILKOMMEN to our new German visitors.

Mark Frauenfelder is apparently on my Mom's mass-email list. From five years ago.

Alright, fuck this, I have shit to do.

Here's a quickie roundup before I go get drunk and ask Cindy Sheehan completely inappropriate questions:

I see that Special Mark finally wrote a book about his friends. Thank god he's got somewhere to pimp it as something "wonderful".

Hell hath no fury like a pudgy former street-urchin-turned-"sex-educator" scorned. By statistics. That everybody, like, totally gives a shit about. 'Tis the season to be sitting at home, checking your fucking page rank to see if Google is CENZ0RINGZ J00, I suppose.

My, Xeni, what a lovely color of shit you chose for your lipstick there... Fascinating "insight" from professional blowhard and pimp, John Batelle (Yes, I know I spelled his name wrong, I enjoy the idea of making the use of page rank more difficult): "blah blah blah TIME'S PERSON OF THE YEAR, YOU, IS TOTALLY WEB 2.0!111!!!! HEY MOM, I'M ON THE COVER OF TIME!1112 blah blah blah". Seriously, ad salespeople and journalists, speculating on technology, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Thanks.

I see that Jacob Appelbaum is still pretending to be a hacker. I wonder if anyone at CCC asked him about how he got shitcanned from a fucking VOLUNTEER job at the ACCRC for being completely technically incompetent? I guess the world will never know.

Aww, poor Saddam Hussein. Truly an Iraqi icon, he will be missed.

And finally, whole lotta fascinating navelgazing going on. I'd critique a little more, but I got bored, and I have the ability to walk away from it.

On the plus side, at least that tard Doctorow is still out in the sandbox, crapping himself, and not writing.

Fight the man with showy neuvo-riche "techie" materialism, y'all. Bonus: contains reference to "Violet Blue, Journalist". Drink up.

One sentence, followed by three paragraphs of whatever. If she can't bother reading it, why should I? Also, SENTENCES NEED VERBS. Plzfix, kthx.

When you post something lame twice, that's not called a "classic", that's called a "rerun".

Blah blah blah Violet Blue blah blah blah knitting blah blah blah sex blah blah blah whatever.

OH NOES, HOMELAND SECURITY MONEY WENT TO POLICE EQUIPMENT!111 IM IN UR CONSTITUTION KILLING ALL YOUR RIGHT TO PRIVACIEZ. I can never remember which article the Right to Not Be Rapidly Determined To Be A Fugitive Or Not is.

Meanwhile, Special Mark is in his corner, reading his comic books, and bemoaning the good old days of Archie. Seriously, WTF? Then again, when you craft not-very-sound-for-English-speaking-ears-run-on-hyphenated-phrases, maybe you're better off in the corner with your crayons.

Oh my god, the past was different. Thank Flying Spaghetti Monster we all have the Internet so we don't miss out on Other People's Garage Sale Crap.

Wikipedia: Not only lame, also asking for money. Get a job, you hobo.

And last, but not least, it was on tv, then it was on tv again, talking about shit it doesn't understand. What is amusing, though, is how it sucks up to the teat of "mainstream media" in a transparent attempt to garner future work. I guess even a used Benz needs an oil change from time to time.

Here comes the science:

* Shitty science-fiction novels are wonderful, particularly if they are 1) written by Cory's butt-buddies, and 2) licensed in a manner which is acceptable to the Copyfight Revolutionary Guard.
* Speaking of which, apparently rereleases of old crap which fit those requirements are wonderful, as well.
* It's wonderful when those dudes from South Park make a passing comment which can very loosely be construed as supportive of Cory "Four Time Droupout" Doctorow's "position" on "copyright".
* Sometimes I wonder if the site isn't called "Cory Doctorow's Amazon Wishlist". Note how I refrained from accusing him of not being able to read, a fact which is proven by 1) his history of not reading the articles he posts links to, and 2) his ADMISSION THAT HE GETS HIS BOOK FIX VIA AUDIOBOOKS.
* Cory is an Post-modern Athiest(tm), but that won't stop him from encouraging you to go buy Christmas gifts (that will result in bewilderment and anger from the recipients once they open their packages to find fucking felt potholders with embroidered squids on them) from his buddy Mark's wife's knitting circle. Albeit, a knitting circle with a promotion budget, but still...
* As pointed out by the fine citizens of this site, doing business in China is A-OK, provided it's done by one of the BoingBoing Approved Hypocrites.
* For someone whose entire identity is based on pretending to be a "geek", it sure seems short-sighted to explain to everyone that you needed a book for "non-geeks" in order to make your computing life more difficult than it was previously.
* And, of course, as previously cited, Mark Frauenfelder jerks it to amputee and abuse-victim porn, and he thinks you doing that, too, would be highly wonderful. Just don't admit that's what you're doing.

And now, I have to go make the donuts. Knock yourselves out, yo. And yes, as of 8:04 Pacific time, Jennifer "Xeni Jardin" Hamm is still M.I.A. Anyone know how long it takes to recover from vaginoplasty?

This morning in Los Angeles, a large alligator tried to eat a naked gentleman who was smoking crack.

The alligator had the man in his jaws when deputies arrived at the La Brea tarpits about 4 a.m. today. They were called by nearby residents who reported hearing a man yelling for help.
[Mark] Frauenfelder, 45, of Culver City, suffered a broken arm, partially amputated left arm and trauma to his left leg.

Oh snap, that wasn't Mark after all... Would have been sweet, though.

Yet, strangely apropos:

"Lately, I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel for material."

I can only assume he's speaking in the plural; he's hardly the only one scraping the bottom of the barrel for material. Seriously, though, I feel bad for his kids. Imagine, if you will, that you had a dad that was as mentally challenged and self-absorbed as Mark is. That'd be friggin' awful. Fortunately, my Dad kicked ass. He was pretty proud of me for getting in the New York Times for calling people out on their bullshit.

Here comes the science:

• Nobody gives a shit about Mark's "old friend" and the crappy time he had building a fucking soap box car, or whatever it is his buddy wrote about for the magazine Mark works for. I didn't care so much that I couldn't even bring myself to read past the second sentence quoted.
• Nobody gives a shit about Mark's wife's magazine, either. Stop pimping it.
• Two Words: YELLING FIRE IN A CROWDED THEATER. Yes, I know that was more than two words. I also know Markie Mark can't count, so he can never call me out on it.