"OMFG, WAPO STOLE JENNY'S INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY!111"

What's particularly amusing about this is that "Violet" thinks "Xeni" "wrote" Boingboing's 'first post' on the issue, despite the fact that Mark did.

Then there's the issue of Mark having picked up his "breaking scoop" from Wired.

But let's look beyond that; it wasn't the Washington Post that nailed this scoop, it wasn't Xeni, it wasn't Mark, and it wasn't Wired; it was Soghoian that broke his own story on the web. Either bloggers are journalists, or they aren't, Violet. You can't have it both ways.

Then again, Jenny, "Violet" and "Christopher" all have one thing in common; they all have an innate desire to be on TV.

Here comes the science:

• Nobody gives a shit about Mark's "old friend" and the crappy time he had building a fucking soap box car, or whatever it is his buddy wrote about for the magazine Mark works for. I didn't care so much that I couldn't even bring myself to read past the second sentence quoted.
• Nobody gives a shit about Mark's wife's magazine, either. Stop pimping it.
• Two Words: YELLING FIRE IN A CROWDED THEATER. Yes, I know that was more than two words. I also know Markie Mark can't count, so he can never call me out on it.

And right here in the center of civilization, Los Angeles! Looks like somebody left the house again and caught a glimpse of real life.

Ahh, drugged-out homeless people... So, well... wonderful. Really there's no other word for it.

No, it's not "Snakes on a Plane". This time it's "Borat". Either she's getting paid, and not disclosing the fact, or she's a clue-bereft tool who'll do other people's schilling for free. Take your pick.

Xeni visits Violet, and writes about sipping drinks at some Market Street cafe. Not to be outdone, Violent Blows her proverbial load (note: neither of those links are safe for work, and I wouldn't even suggest bothering to load them, yet I'm still providing them as evidence of content-free fangirl dripping weaksauce).

But fuck all that, let's get to the real interesting discovery; "professional journalist" "Violet Blue" clearly demonstrates her sound psychological state of well-being, coughing up some tasty morsels of WHAT THE FUCK? For instance, after whining about how mean her old boyfriend was, and how he never asked her what living in the streets was like, BOOYAA:

"I think we all wonder and imagine what we'd do in a fight. I have been in fistfights since I was a kid, and still I often imagine circumstances that lead me to having to defend myself, or attack someone. In the fantasy, time slows until the air is liquid. I don't know why, I can't explain why I'm on my way to this place, but I have to act. I see myself fighting with cruel precision; the fantasy is always deceitfully erotic. It's an eerily beautiful moment in which I am always the hero.

Is this the architecture of delusion, or the mechanics of survival?"

Either way, you're a friggin' nutjob, Violet. Either way.

They're the ones getting all excited about seeing gay dudes in the Castro on a Saturday. Oh boy.

Then again, maybe "she's" trying to tell us something here, and just can't quite come out with it... If only we had the faintest clue what that something was...

According to Frau Doctorow, Wired released the "source code" for "hacker" "Kevin Poulsen"'s "pedophile-finding script". The problem with Doctorow's statement, however, is the fact that the Wired article links to a file that doesn't exist. You'd think that Doctorow, being the totally l337 haxx0r he thinks himself to be, would have at least bothered to fucking download the script and take a look at it. Then again, maybe you'd not think that. Maybe you'd safely assume that, as is always the case with the BoingBoing crew, they can't be bothered with the details of what they're writing about.

The whole "perl script (friggin' perl? 1995 called, they want their scripting language of choice back) that compares myspace profile ages" is We-Todd-Ed to begin with. How many people on myspace are listed as being 99 years old? How many of them use their real names to set up accounts? Their exact real names, so that those names could be cross-referenced with the Sexual Predator Lists? I'm guessing three. And I'm being generous.

Meanwhile, Pescovitz devolves further, coyly begging for readers to buy him more shit he found on eBay, pimping for "Violet Blue", Wired dorks, and whoever the fuck "Eddie Codel" is, and giving the mandatory weekly reacharound to "Coop" for emailing them some lame bullshit about Nancy and Sluggo.

I hereby take back anything nice I've said about Pescovitz. OM(FG) was right; he just seemed less shit-for-brained because he was quieter.

Also, preemptive apologies to Joey at corysucks.com for stepping on his turf again. I'm just getting anxious to cover more territory, now that the new hardware is in the house, and being configured for the new site.

It's been a few days since she gave a reacharound to one of her buddies, but then BOOM, a reacharound for old Violent Blew talking about math, a subject which she became an expert in during her tenure at MIT's mathematics department, followed by a pandering reacharound for one of her played-out idols, David Byrne. Oh boy, chairs. And better yet: pontificating about chairs. Chairs: The Ultimate Officemod. Or whatever.

Could someone in LA check and see if Coop is on the missing persons list? It's been days since one of the boringboring assclowns reposted his incredibly insightful emails. Maybe Satan called him up to the front lines in the war on whatever.

I ended two paragraphs with the word "whatever". How awesome is that? My old English teacher would be so proud...

IRAN TOTALLY COVERED UP UMA THURMAN'S BOOBS!!11111 OH, THE HUMANITY!!111

Meanwhile, Amnesty International concerns themselves with more trivial aspects of Iran:

Amnesty International continues to document serious human violations including detention of human rights defenders and other prisoners of conscience, unfair trials, torture and mistreatment in detention, deaths in custody and the application of the death penalty. Iran has one of the highest number of recorded executions of any country in the world. Amnesty International is particularly concerned about the execution of children and individuals who were minors when their crimes were alleged to have taken place. In one case, an 18-year-old girl, Nazanin, was sentenced to be executed for having, at age 17, stabbed to death one of three men in a park who were attempting to rape her and her younger niece.

The BBC seems similarly distracted from the more important issue of Thurman Boob Coverage, preferring to focus their eyes on trivial crap like "torture". WHEN WILL THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA STOP COVERING UP IRAN'S COVERING UP OF BAZOOMBAS?!?!??!?!!??!!?!?!?!

Incidentally, none of these abuses are anything new for Iran.

"Hey Everybody, here's some crap I found on eBay, sure would be nice if you people would buy it for me". Maybe Pescovitz should talk to Battelle about getting a raise, then he could afford to buy his own shit on eBay, rather than pandering to the retarded audience in order to get them to buy it for him. Or some friend of his.

I can't wait 'til the little girl who gets that skull and crossbones plaque gets it taken away from her by her daddy after he realizes he can get his name mentioned on BoingBoing if he just "donates" something to Pesky.